Phase 2's Average 2DNoodle Romance in 800 Words!
by vivisect
Summary: I have condensed several 20 chapter stories about romance between 2D and Noodle in 800 words! Now included: the same unsatisfactory feeling! Please use with a grain of salt . Contains swearing.


Gorillaz does not belong to me.

* * *

2D: "Sure does suck being a sexy rockstar with the mind of a child, the voice of an angel, and several illegitimate children. I'm getting bored banging mindless groupies."

Noodle: "Good! Because when I came back from Japan, it suddenly hit me how attractive you were! Even though I have mastered all forms of music, language, and electronics, and you could never hope to stimulate me intellectually, in my puberty-induced haze I might be hoping you could stimulate me physically!"

2D: "Sounds good to me, because suddenly I realize you are blossoming into a delicious young lady and I might want to fool around with you sometime. But first I must feel guilty about this development since, after all, I HAVE watched you grow up."

Noodle: "Well that would be nice. Too bad I'm convinced you still see me as your little sister in this fucked-up family situation we are in!"

2D: "What a coincidence! I, too, am convinced that you only see me as a sibling!"

Murdoc: "Goddamn it's really obvious you two want to eat each other's faces. Hurry up and do it, just don't fuck up my band."

Russel: "Damn straight, it's obvious. Even though 2D has various baby mommas, a groupie list that rival's Murdoc's, and a crippling addiction to pills, I think he's a good guy. At some point, I will give my private consent for him to date my baby girl. He best not fuck it then truck it though, otherwise Imma break his nose."

Noodle: "Sugoi! Also, even though I am very smart and I now spend pretty much all my time stalking you or watching your every movement, for some reason I am completely oblivious to your affections."

2D: "Strange. Whelp, my adult hormones and my childish mind have come up with the perfect plan: Tickle attack. SO, I'm going to start tickling you now. PS We might be drunk while this is happening."

Noodle: "Okay! I'm going to giggle a lot and scream for you to stop, even though I could very easily get out of this situation by myself."

2D: "Oops! Either I touched your boob, or we almost kissed! Please excuse me while I have an existential crisis about either coping a feel or almost making out with a girl that is 12 years younger than me!"

Noodle: "Don't worry, I'm too busy wondering if we almost made out. Also you smell like butterscotch."

2D: "Hey, it's a good thing you just turned 18 or will be turning 18 soon! I'm kind of worried about you being jailbait, even though we live in England and the age of consent is 16 here."

Noodle: "Funny you mention that, because we're going to a bar/club soon. I'm going to get drunk and get almost raped by some guy."

2D: "Oh, okay. Well, I'm going to save you from that guy."

Noodle: "You better! I totally could have taken care of him myself though. I shall hug you as a thank you, and now I'm really upset."

2D: "I'm going to do a 180 (character-wise) and be a complete dick to you! Even though you're clearly distraught, I'm going to get pissed and leave you."

Noodle: "I'm just happy I didn't get raped. But I'm kind of worried about the band now. I am insecure about this potentially being my first relationship. What if it screws up the band dynamic?"

2D: "Awwwe. Don't worry about that love, because you find out that either I took a girl home the other night, or Paula has come back into my life! (Even though things were just getting good with us, and everyone else still hates her, and she's still a massive whore.)"

Noodle: "…Well that's a dick move. I'm going to run away for a few chapters. Ja ne!"

2D: "I realize my life is nothing without my lil love, and I chase after you, kicking Paula (or the random girl) to Kong's curb!"

Noodle: "Gosh, you found me. Maybe I should have used some of my super solider-training and NOT left a convenient trail of clues for you to follow. Even though I miss Gorillaz very much and I'm happy you dumped that skank, I can't go back to being your little sister. Are we going to date or what?"

2D: "Fine, let's go out. So how does this story end then?"

Noodle: "Dunno, no one ever finishes stories about our relationship. We probably didn't even get to bang!"

2D: "Damn!"

Noodle: "I know, right?"

* * *

IF I READ ONE MORE FANFIC WHERE THE AUTHOR USES TICKLING AS A CATALYST, I'M GOING TO MURDER SOMETHING. ALSO STOP USING THE WORD "TRADEMARK" TO DESCRIBE ANYTHING ABOUT 2D OR MURDOC. Seriously. More stories to come soon. (Hopefully)

(Also, hopefully people found this funny)


End file.
